| i swear i've been happy some time in between last post and this one but right now i feel like everything and everyone is making it so difficult to achieve my dreams of right now...i think i am partially to blame because i have an overly romanticized notion of everyone (too much expectation) but romance isn't reality. EVERYTHING has been an obstacle, SHIT, like EVERYTHING. sometimes i want to feel a lot, sometimes i dont want to feel at all
im taking a creative writing class this year, and here is a poem i just wrote in like 30 seconds
Plea
By: Me
i want to start a band
i have the music
i know the music but nothing else but
i am serious
i know we will be great
you should go out of your way
to give it a chance
i promise you won't regret it
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| i've decided that there are certain qualities in people that really make me disapointed, especially when found in people I've always considered to be "awesome" who I've always idolized in my head, always brag to everyone about (and even though this seems like it is probably directed at one person, it's actually directed at quite a few), and it makes me sad I may have to rethink these peoples awesomeness:
i realize some of these are going to come off as ridiculous
- inconsiderate, so many things in this one, just one, yeah, take your sweet ass time at the expense of other peoples
- not doing things they say they're going to do, not just in that obvious annoying way but people who sometimes come up with great ideas, and seem so ambitious, who you randomly realize never actually take the first step
- flakeyness
- not questioning things and are just too interested in being 'nice', 'optimistic', and 'agreeable' to speak out
- more interested in having goods, then utilizing them for good
- anal about their property, what good is having something if it's not being used? like FOR REAL, this one deals with the annoyance above as well, I have a keyboard, I have books, I have stuff, and I love sharing them, I don't understand why you wouldn't like to, as radical as it sounds. Philosophically it doesn't make sense, for me, it's like if I have something nice, I want it to be used as much as possible, to get the most out of it, and share the joy with everyone and it baffles me (I know it shouldn't) when people don't think the same way.
- people who aren't excited / passionate
- care too much about what people think, to the point it conflicts with what they actually want to be doing
- not logical, not efficient, especially when they are a freaking philosophy majors
- making me feel like I have to wait for them
- needs an inner "clique", cannot branch the fuck out
- laziness
this is making me more annoyed and annoyed, and these people have a ton of virtues btu right now their apathy is outshining them.
basically i'm tired of feeling like i'm the only one who cares.
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